


Nonexistent

by konnichichi (chiisagi)



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Bittersweet, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-30
Updated: 2014-12-30
Packaged: 2018-03-04 08:34:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 915
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3055403
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chiisagi/pseuds/konnichichi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Although the manifestations of Kiku's broken mentality continue to haunt him after the break of the Alliance, with time he's able to accustom himself with getting used to a thing once unbearable to withstand. It's only gotten to the point where he's drowned himself in his own illusion. [Repost from Tumblr: written 8/17/2013]</p>
            </blockquote>





	Nonexistent

It wasn’t very long ago. In all honesty, it was quite recent; so much that the pain was still rather tangible. He couldn’t reverse time even if he wanted to. It was inevitable. Unavoidable. Now the world seems to have no point in advancing. Why should it bother to keep on going when nothing else matters? Nothing at all when the one thing you love has left you, allowing the smallest bit of humiliation and shame consume you. It was then that they turn the lights off.

An arm wrapped around him comfortingly, and his eyes widened. It felt all too similar, all too familiar. He whipped his head up, only to find Ludwig and Feliciano staring back at him with a concerned look from across the table.

"Kiku? Are you alright?"

"Ve…why are you crying?"

He reached up, and indeed did he feel tears on his face. Kiku looked around some more, and his thoughts were rejected. It had only been him and his two friends, nobody else.

So it really had been a hallucination. _Again_.

This was his mentality. His daily train of thought. It never ended, nor did he think it ever will. He was fine with it, really, since he was so used to it. After all, there was not too much feeling at all anymore. Being numb was quite an experience for the Japanese nation, and yet at times, he could still feel the same salty wetness trail down his face, such as the present meeting he currently has with his two friends.

"Oh…pardon me," Kiku replied, turning away to wipe his face with his yukata sleeve, "but yes, I am fine."

Ludwig raised an eyebrow at this while Feliciano jumped off his chair, lunging forward to give his dark-haired friend a warm hug. “Noo, Kiku, don’t cry! It’s not good for your health!” he wailed.

Kiku merely patted him back. “Please calm down, Feli-kun. I’m alright.”

"B-but I don’t want our visit to be so sad!"

"Would you like some mochi ice cream, then?"

"…oh! Si, please!"

All the while, the German quietly observed the scene, working out the atmosphere in his head. “By the way, thank you very much for inviting us to your house, Kiku. It has been quite some time,” he said.

"Mm? It has, hasn’t it…" Kiku looked to the side. "It is my pleasure."

Prior to the day, Kiku decided to invite his former Axis comrades. It was on a whim. The reason is absolutely nonexistent, only because it was deleted.

At least his house wasn’t so lifeless anymore.

—

Waving his hand goodbye to Feliciano and Ludwig, Kiku wished them a safe trip back as he closed the door. It had started to rain all of a sudden, and it was quite unfortunate that the two had to leave at the same time. Walking back, he took an hour to clean up any rooms they were in. They weren’t very messy, but it was something that Kiku automatically does. One could say that cleaning was a simple hobby of his, another would claim it helped clear his mind. Both were correct, though only Kiku regarded the former reason. He didn’t want to remember.

Having finished, Kiku relaxed by sitting by the porch outside. During the time he cleaned, the rain died down by only a little. Subsequently, small taps on the floor resounded in the room, and it wasn’t long before a small furry creature came into view, jumping into Kiku’s lap. "Konbanwa, Pochi-kun," Kiku said, smiling softly. The dog in turn looked back up at him, his eyes wide and curious. He stroked his pet’s fur as he looked out at the sky, observing the myriad of stars above.

"How long do you think it has been?" he asked to no one in particular. Pochi nuzzled against his chest in an attempt to answer, though was only petted more in turn.

"Hm." Kiku closed his eyes for a moment, feeling the nightly breeze pass him by. He would most definitely agree with Ludwig. It really has been a long time, but not for that reason.

“ _Yes, you’re quite right on that_ ,” answered someone, a heavy accent laced in their speech.

Not even stirring just a bit, Kiku carried on the conversation. He knew all too well. “And might I ask how you knew?”

“ _It’s apparent. Your face is very revealing despite your outside atittude, you know._ ”

"Is that so? Should I apologize?"

“ _You must._ ”

"Very well. Gomen’nasai."

“ _Oh you. It was only a joke, Kiku._ ”

"As expected. On another note, how have you been?"

“ _Hmm…the usual._ ”

"As am I."

“ _…do you miss it?_ ”

"Miss what?"

“ _The alliance._ ”

"……yes."

" _I do too._ "

"…"

“ _I would have done something._ ”

"You didn’t."

“ _Neither did you._ ”

Silence hung for a minute before Kiku spoke again. “But…Would you really…?”

“ _Of course._ ”

"Why?"

“ _…because…—_ ”

Senses returning to him, Kiku jolted back up in shock when he felt himself falling to the side. Frightened, Pochi jumped off his lap. He tried to even his breathing as he leaned against his arm, looking around once more. The porch remained barren; it was only him and his pet. Kiku sighed solemnly.

It stopped raining, he thought to himself. It was a beautiful night, though regardless he stood up and left the porch, urging Pochi to follow him inside. “Perhaps I should get some sleep,” Kiku mumbled.

Before he closed the fusuma to the patio, he quietly whispered, “Goodnight, Arthur-san.”


End file.
